Girlfriends Weekend Checklist

Here are the ingredients for a terrific Girlfriends Weekend:

• the right girls
• compatible budgets
• accommodations that match your mutual standards
• adventuresome food
• getting clear in advance what to wear
• options for opting in and out of activities

I find this particularly useful for women like me who have grown children and grown (or outgrown) spouses and partners and expect certain standards when we're traveling. Read on for how to put the right group together, and plan budgets, accommodations, cuisine, clothing, and excursions.

The Girls -- Choose the core group wisely. Before you know it, the secrets come out, and, whoa baby, be prepared for the unexpected emotional triage. (A lot lies beneath despite years of perky Christmas cards.)

Budgets -- Get the pocketbook issues out of the way early. Flying first class or standby? Dragging carry-on or tipping bellmen? Renting a sporty convertible or a minivan? Pricey wine or vin ordinaire? Get your non-negotiables on the table early, girls. This is a friendship, after all, not a marriage.

Accommodations -- Here's my non-negotiable -- some personality, please! I heavily research the style, location, services, and amenities of where I'll stay. Watch out for B&Bs if you're straight, because they often have only one bed to a room. For me, a luxury ambiance though not necessarily luxury prices. High floors in cities, terraces and gardens in the country. Absolutely be sure that if you decide to go to a friend's home for this trip that it's the right atmosphere for everyone.

Cuisine -- My simple philosophy -- we eat 2-3 times a day and it better be darn good and something worth making the effort. Otherwise, stay home and cook.

Clothing -- Jeans and tank tops? Cashmere and diamonds? Do not underestimate the importance of the pre-packing "what are you going to wear?" conversation. We want to be our distinctive selves, yet in sync. Besides, there's only so much closet space in shared rooms.

Question for commenters -- Know any great B&Bs for women that have two beds to a room?